New covers! New creative teams! New looks!
AND THE NEW FF BOOK IS LITERALLY THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. AND I HAVE SEEN MY OWN BONES AND SURGICAL TOOLS STICKING OUT OF MY FUCKING BODY.
I hope you know how much I love you, Tumblr. I feel filthy just saving that image to my computer in order to post it here. I need to take a shower with all of my clothes on.
Scott Lang! The most inoffensively boring Ant-man!
She-Hulk! Wondering why the fuck she can’t get a decent book of her own again!
Medusa! Currently smashing her fist into a mirror and screaming I AM ROYALTY GODDAMNIT I AM BETTER THAN THIS.
And introducing…..miss thing. I can’t even apply proper punctuation. miss thing. For those of us that feel like vomiting, here’s the official word!
‘new character Miss Thing, wearing a suit of armour and described by Fraction as a, “Lohan-esque celebutante blonde’
I TRUSTED YOU. I TRUSTED YOU. GETTING REAL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, MR FRACTION.
[Insert drawing of Johnny Storm showing up, snapping fingers, and hollering ‘HAY MISS THING’ while She-Hulk and Medusa take turns smashing their heads into the side of the Baxter Building.]
Marvel NOW is rapidly turning into Marvel WHY.
Perhaps if gay couples and characters were better represented in comics, fans (both male and female, gay and straight) wouldn’t feel the need to pair otherwise straight-appearing characters.
But as the big players in the comics industry still cater primarily to the white, straight, male demographic…we won’t be testing that theory any time soon.
So calm down. Fandom isn’t hurting anyone. You don’t see us actively vilifying your heterosexual couples.
And remember - every time you argue about homosexuality on the Internet, a Rick Santorum gets its wings.
(Disclaimer: yes, there are a lot of orientations and pairings not represented here. This is not meant to offend. If you want to see a pairing that is not here, drop me an ask <3)
Hank Pym has been using my computer again.