I am SO GLAD to hear that! You’ve picked the three best comics I can recommend. David Aja is my all time favorite artist, and Carol Danvers is my hero. You’re a nerd after my own heart!

So, as you like what you’ve read so far, let me recommend some more in the same vein to blow that sweet, sweet christmas $$$ on!

• You’ve already started on the Kelly Sue DeConnick one-two punch of Avengers Assemble and Captain Marvel, so why not try Ghost? The Dark Horse characters is back in an all new series that’s only three issues in, and so far has been gorgeous and thrilling. I say David Aja is my favorite, but what I mean is that I want him and Ghost artist Phil Noto to fight for my affection Thunderdome-style. You will never, EVER regret picking up a book where Noto is slinging pencils.

• So. You like Matt Fraction and David Aja, eh? Well well well. How about we take that power couple (Ajtion? Fraca?) and throw in the man that brought back Bucky Barnes, the writer that made Captain America one of THE best books at Marvel….ED BRUBAKER! This is the Immortal Iron Fist, and I would be hard pressed to come up with a better Marvel series. This was one of the first books I cut my teeth on, and honey, it got me hook line and sinker. It’s the perfect blend of down and dirty Rand-style Kung Fu and gorgeous mysticism and mythology. I would eat this book if I could.

• Avengers, naturally! I can’t even begin to tell you what a GOOD TIME you’ve picked to buy your first comics! The core Avengers book is starting over bright and shiny…with a rotating cast of 18! I hope Tony is planning on adding a few extra bathrooms to the tower. Number one just came out, and if you’re a fan of Tony Stark wandering around in minimal clothing and displaying almost NO regard for personal space, this is for you!

• (Jonathan Hickman, who is currently writing that new Avengers book, just finished his tenure on Fantastic Four. And who is taking over that book, but your newly beloved Matt Fraction! If you like his style, which you clearly do, the new series has just started!)

• Okay. Okay. One more before I have to put pants on. You like Captain Marvel? Okay good. You like fun, kinda gritty, entertaining books? Okay. I see where we can take this. This right here is Nextwave, Agents of H.A.T.E., and I am rec’ing it to you based on a few things. One? Monica Rambeau, recent guest star in Captain Marvel (and recent Captain Marvel herself) leads the team. Two? It’s Warren Ellis, comics and black humor maestro, as well as stunning artist Stuart Immonen. Three? It’s the funniest book I have ever read, ever. It’s a great skewering of Marvel and the superhero genre, and you can read it over and over. LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR. THIS IS NOT A KID FRIENDLY BOOK. OR KOALA FRIENDLY. Or broccoli friendly, come to think of it.

Okay! I think that’s a pretty decent list of recommendations that you didn’t actually ask for. This goes for everyone else looking for post-christmas cash to burn. Just wait. You’ll get hooked. And then every month, you’ll come crying to Mama Flatbear, hopelessly in love with comic books.

Address all complaints to Iamsosorryaboutyourbankaccount@gmail.com

That’s not a real email address.

And I’m not sorry.

Stop looking at my chest, fleshy one.

One day I will actually get a tattoo of that top panel. One day.